Wednesday, March 4, 2009

The 50% Rule

The women of Paris are beautiful does with chic clothes, perfectly-coiffed (or perfectly haphazard) hair, pretty brooding faces, pretty bodies and mannerisms that would make finishing school graduates in the states cry. That being said, however beautiful the women are, I have to say that the men win. At least in the area of demographics.

The 50% rule is as follows: whatever public space you find yourself in, whether it be on the metro or in the streets, at least 50% of the men will be incredibly good-looking, tall, skinny, well-dressed, well-groomed and never chauvinistic. If you happen to meet a not so cute French guy, statistics say that at least half of his friends are dashing chanticleers. It's so bad(good) that I've been completely desensitized to the fleet of glorious male models struttin around gettin up in my mojo. That being said, I will allow that they are a bit feminine. Leg crossing is a common practice among the male species, and most of the time their hair is long and falls at all the right angles.

French men also have no problem with touching and kissing each other a lot when they go out. I suspect this goes for all Europeans but it greatly confuses us American women because we think you're all gay or bisexual. But hey I think it's great. It takes a lot of confidence in your manhood to sit on your friend's lap, cross your legs, wear long hair like it's nobody's business, dress better than me, and wear pointy shoes all at once. In summation, take the lead singer of MGMT, multiply his attractiveness by a factor of 3, add a cigarette and times that by 1/2 the population of Parisian men and you get the picture.

Oh yea did I forget to mention that they love dating? Like, LOVE. Oh yea and hand holding. And PDA. All the shit that I thought disappeared with the invention of the telegraph.

I can't wait to get back to the beer-loving mysogynistic relationship-allergic lazy brotastic unrefined ungroomed darlings back home (I kid I kid.. but seriously free t-shirt + that one pair of jeans + sandals does NOT = outfit. EVER)


  1. holy shit paris sounds like HEAVEN. or at least half of it. mmmm skinny boys

  2. alice, you're a changed woman. how will american men stand a chance now?